


PSA

by bzarcher



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Filming, Gen, Helping Yourself, Helping others, Mental Health Issues, Podfic Welcome, Public Service Announcement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 09:50:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10682829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bzarcher/pseuds/bzarcher
Summary: “I have to warn you that once this is out there, it’s out there. No turning back.”“Never was very good about looking behind me.”“That’s sort of funny.”“Ha. I suppose it is.”OR: Tracer films a very personal Public Service Announcement





	PSA

**Author's Note:**

> This work involves some discussion of depression and mental health issues. If that is a trigger or issue for you, you may want to avoid reading.

_“You’re really sure about this?”_

_“I had to think about it for a while, but...yeah. I am.”_

_“I have to warn you that once this is out there, it’s out there. No turning back.”_

_“Never was very good about looking behind me.”_

_“That’s sort of funny.”_

_“Ha. I suppose it is.”_

* * *

The shooting day started at six in the morning. Tracer was in her full gear - goggles, accelerator, jacket, pistols, the lot, and she ended up stripping half of it off to let the makeup artist take the little bit of lip gloss and a touch of foundation she normally wore when ‘working’ and dress it up for the cameras over the course of an hour before she was tooled up again and walking into the brightly lit studio. A white floor, a plain steel and black cushioned bar stool, a powder blue colored backdrop that her outfit popped against, and wouldn’t clash with the glow from her accelerator.

They had a teleprompter next to the camera. The director for the shoot had gone over the script with her, but she hardly needed it. She stood just out of sight of the camera, and waited.

“PSA shoot, part 1 take 1...aaaand _action!_ ”

In a flash of blue light, Tracer appeared in front of the camera.

“Cheers, luvs! Tracer here!” She gave her best and brightest smile to the camera, eyes dancing as she struck a little pose. “You’ve probably heard everything about me. Fighter pilot, adventurer, hero!”

Pulling out her pistols, she gave them a little spin and flourish on her fingertips as she spoke.

“Shoot the baddies, save the world,” letting the pistols snap back into their holsters, she gave the camera a broad wink beneath her goggles, “and of course, get the girl!”

She paused, then sat down on the stool, putting her hands on her knees. “But that’s only part of the story.”

She locked eyes with the camera, holding it for a long moment until the director nodded. “CUT!”

The director stood with a smile. “Good delivery - obviously you’ve got some practice projecting - mind if we do a couple more takes?”

Nodding, she blinked back to the spot she’d originally started from. “Ready when you are!”

* * *

The second part was harder, but she knew it would be.

She’d gone back to the dressing trailer they’d set up, and she stripped down out of her gear, putting the vambraces and pistols in a gun case that she locked up, hanging her jacket up, and skinning out of her tights.

She didn’t bother trying to scrub all the makeup off - Lena would leave that to the professionals - but after she’d changed into a plain white t-shirt and an old pair of jeans, she did her best to...not exactly _tame_ her hair, that was basically impossible, but to put it into a slightly less aggressive style. She looked at herself in the mirror, unpleasant memories stirring as she gazed into her reflection. A little shiver ran through her, and she closed her eyes.

“Come on, Lena. You wanted to do this. You can _help_ people by doing this. You can do it.”

She took a deep breath and left the trailer, heading to have her makeup redone.

When she sat down on the stool again, she made sure to put herself in exactly the same position she’d sat down in for the first set of takes. The accelerator was sitting on a chair next to the camera dolly, and she felt terribly exposed.

The background had been shifted to a more neutral grey. The lighting had been changed so that she’d still be picked up on camera, but it would all appear dull and flat compared to the bright, vibrant figure she’d seemingly cut a heartbeat before.

Without foundation or other makeup, she knew she’d appear peaky and washed out on film. That was sort of the point.

She took a deep breath, looked up, and locked eyes with the camera once again.

“PSA, part 2, take 1... _action! ”_

Her throat was suddenly very dry, and she had to swallow before she could speak.

“I’m Lena, and...I had an accident.” She sat back a bit, drawing her arms up protectively. “Recovery was hard. For a long time, I didn’t really know what to do. I had trouble getting out of bed. I had times where I was making myself smile because I didn’t want people to know I could barely stand to be around anyone else. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t really enjoy things I used to love, and I did…” She snorted softly, looking away from the camera. “I did a _lot_ of stupid things. I thought that everything that had happened - everything I felt - was my fault.”

She looked back into the camera, concentrating on the words on the prompter to keep herself from shaking.

“I finally talked to my doctor about how I was really feeling. I asked for help, and things started to change. Nothing happened overnight - but I started to find the things I liked again. Really felt like the way I was acting. Wanted to go on.”

She paused, knowing she needed to wait before finishing what she wanted to say.

“CUT!” The director stood, and walked over before dropping into a crouch next to her. “I realize that wasn’t easy. Thank you. Would you prefer we just go with one take?”

Lena considered how she was doing, then nodded. “If that’s OK…”  
  
“It is,” the director reassured her, “would you like a minute before going back to makeup?” 

“Please.”

When she came back to the set, the lighting was more neutral, though the background had not changed. She’d had foundation and eyeliner reapplied, and a neutral lip gloss. Enough to make her look ‘natural’ on camera, but nothing exaggerated. She was still dressed casually, but she'd pulled her jacket on, leaving it hanging open over the shirt.

She settled back down on the stool, waited for the ‘action!’ call again, and smiled to the camera. Not quite the thousand watt Tracer smile. Just a good, genuine, ordinary Lena smile.

“I still need help sometimes. I have friends I can call. A partner who supports me. A doctor and a therapist I can reach out to. But the most important thing is that I understand now that it is OK to ask for help.”

Lena straightened up just a bit, letting her hands move as she spoke. “Depression is a serious illness, but it is not a death sentence. It is not a failing, and not a punishment...and most importantly, it is not something that _anyone_ should have to face alone. If you are dealing with the effects of mental illness, see your doctor, or call the crisis hotline at the bottom of your screen.”

She brought her hands together. “Life should be more than just getting by. Reach out. Find your words, and give yourself the chance to heal.”

“You deserve it,” she insisted to the camera, “and you are not alone.”

* * *

Emily’s arms were wrapped around her from behind as they watched the PSA play between commercials as they lay on the couch. It had been strange seeing herself - listening to herself - but as she watched the PSA play, complete with the addition of a few editing tricks and some music to tie everything together, Lena couldn’t help but smile.

“That was incredibly brave, Lena. I am so, so proud of you.”

“Thanks, luv.” Lena turned so she could kiss Emily’s cheek. “Thanks for being here for me.”

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those things that hit me in the back of the head at about ten at night and I was up writing until 3am, sent to a bunch of folks to read, and after they gave me the OK, decided to go ahead with posting.
> 
> If you live in the US, you can call the Depression Hotline at 800-826-3632.  
> If you live in the UK, the Mind Infoline / Depression Alliance can be reached at 0300 123 3393.  
> You can also look for resources at http://www.yourlifecounts.org/need-help/crisis-lines
> 
> It is OK to ask for help. 
> 
> You are not alone.
> 
> We are not alone.


End file.
